AA (addicts anonymous)

D&C 18:10

"the worth of souls is great in the sight of God"

I have something that is eating me inside, and tearing me down. 

I have an addiction that is hurtful, powerful, common, and destructive

I have a process in which i am fighting everyday.

its called Low Self-esteem.....

Last night i had a conversation, that seems to come up a lot, with one of my best friends.

In the conversation he couldn't stress enough to me that 

what i was seeing wasn't what everyone else saw.

Now, I have heard this many times. 

but none of those times stuck out like this one.

I have a strange thought process that is like this.

I go through these thoughts in my head when i see people or meet new people.

Now with these thoughts its not me being rude or judge-mental.

Its more of me being observant, and more than anything, hard on myself.

I will see 

• features that are flawless, 
• hair that is long and falls perfectly
• bodies that are toned and skinny

I am not those things
But i am...

• Curly hair
• Straight hair
• Waved hair
• Crazy hair :)
• short eye lashes (extensions have solved that problem) :)
• Green eye
• Blue eye
• Hazel eye
• Freckle
• Straight smile
• Perfect height
• Normal weight
• Proportioned body
• average sized feet
• not ugly feet
• normal sized hands
• normal sized finger nails/ toe nails
• perfect boob size
• birthmarks :) 
• somewhat clear skin (depends what time of month it is..)
• Talented singer
• okay dancer
• musically able
• responsible
• respectful
• engergetic
• hard working
• bashful
• loud
• shy
• thoughful
• considerate
• wishful
• romantic
• hopeful
• spontanious
• short tempered
• easy going
• follower
• leader
• colorful
• organized
• street smart
• dramatic
• and faithful 

just to name a few...

This is a work in progress for me, but I'm working on it.
Thanks Cody for last night.
You told me things i already knew, but coming from you they meant more.
I could tell you were really bothered by how it effects me, and i really do appreciate that.
I am glad that i have a great and true friend like you.
I promise i will work at it, but please be patient with me
Thanks again.
and Thank you to everyone else who helps me with just the little things, that make this addiction that much easier.
Thank you for your reminders that I am infact, in my own way, beautiful.
That i do have worthwhile talents, and that i don't need to be someone other than myself.
Thank you to my best friend Meagan for keeping me positive, and keeping my mind off of it.
I am so lucky that you are my best friend/roommate.
I Love you guys!

THANKS!! <3
(i hope that none of you thought this was a prideful post... if you did... stop making things about you. haha but seriously, its good/healthy to be prideful in your self every now and then, so if you have a problem, please keep it to yourself.)