Painful Poem

There is a pain in my arm.
I don't know where from.
It feels like its burning,
like my muscles are yerning,
i just wish it would Stop.

It started at random,
Not much brought it on.
Just reaching at work,
then a painful jerk.
i just wish it would STop

I thought it would leave.
Not much to make it stay
Yet leave it did not,
The worse that it got.
i just wish it would STOp.

Now this is a poem.
A terrible poem.
About my arm that's in pain,
that's driving me insain.
I just wish it would STOP!


And that is how you write a random poem about pain.... that does go away....Eventually.

SOL

This weekend was way fun/crazy!
I had all day Friday off, which was SO nice!!
Kallies Birthday was Friday so i spent all day with her.
We got our hair done, her eye lashes done, shopping, dinner at chilies, and party at her house.
Saturday was Abers wedding! YAY!!!
Oh it was so beautiful! She looked absolutely gorgeous, and its was just a happy time for them.
Sunday Meg and I got our eye lashes done by Sami!
It was kinda weird cuz before i had PAINFULLY short eye lashes so i was worried it would look funny... but i LOVE them!!!
its so nice looking in the mirror after waking up, or showering and not hating what i look like. I mean no i'm not super pretty still without makeup but at least i'm more confident.
I didn't get the lashes to impress anyone or for anyone to say "wow you are so pretty! look at your lashes!" i just got them so i can fell pretty myself and so i can like how i look. :)
but then we went and cleaned our work!
We did everything!!! Walls, floors, bathrooms, windows, etc.
It was crazy.
Well that was the run down of my weekend....
Now for exciting news!
I found a new hair lady/salon! :)
Amber Rene Salon - Amanda   GO THERE!!!
They are so cute and really talented.
Its a fun atmosphere and little so its not a ton of people running around.
They also have great rates and friendly staff!
Love it there!
She used this product that was amazing and did wonders on my hair!
Me having really curly hair, when i blow dry it, it goes CRAZY!
but this oil based product made it super soft and not frizzy at all!
I was amazed!
We used a round brush and the Blow Dryer... thats all!!! :)
i also bought this watch there!
super cute huh!?! :)
Boy Corner :)
So i am having an issue right now with boys.
I miss Austin so much, but i am coming to the realization that its okay to like someone else. 
18 months is still a long time to go and we talked about it before that i was not waiting for him. We would just see how things went when he got home. But i think that this whole time while he's been gone i have been really scared to let myself get really close to someone. I have kissed boys since, but i haven't felt for any the way that i feel for Austin.... until now. 
Now your probably wondering who this guy is... well keep wondering cuz i'm not going to say....
here is why.
You know how with Girl Code you never date a friends ex or something like that. 
Well is it ever okay to break that? 
What if you and the friend weren't ever THAT close. but you still considered yourself friends?
No matter what they tell you, you know that their feelings are still there, but you can't help how you feel.
THEN you find out that your other friend (not the ex) likes them too!!! 
and they are ALWAYS asking you for advice on how to make it work....ugh....
Well guess what... youR SHIT OUT OF LUCK then. 
Don't you just love being Friend Zoned?! I sure do.... NOT!!!!!  


So that is why names aren't named because this is the awkward love triangle that i am in. 
For those who are reading this (no one) done bother asking who they are either cuz you won't ever guess.... its that complicating. 
So maybe i'm not ready to get back on the love wagon...? Or maybe this means i am?
Golly i don't know! i just want to go to bed when i think about it cuz its so confusing.... 
So yeah... 
oh and i never go on dates..... I'm just that pathetic. 


Great huh?!
k bye
 

Families are forever

Mothers Day Family Photo's

Love is what holds us together

 Eternal Families are the Best!

 Us, being Us

 

Friends by choice, Family by chance <3

 they are studs

 Me and my Beautiful Mother

Crazy me...

 My Gorgeous Mother and Crazy Brothers

 We love our Daddy

 20 Years and going strong :)

 They are Best Friends

 They are my Hero's

 Couldn't have asked for better Parents/examples :)

Little Patience

Ever had one of those days where anything anyone says is super annoying?

That is today.

I don't know what it is but i can't seem to find patience with stupid people

I am usually pretty good at that, and i don't usually get frustrated to badly.

But i don't know what it is today, but i just can't take it.

That is all. 

I felt that video was appropriate. 

What would you do??

On my way to work today,
I noticed a Hot Air Balloon soaring in the sky
It was early (for a Saturday) but i thought,
 "if that is what i was waking up early for, SIGN ME UP!"
I have always wanted to do so many things,
so i have decided to create a Bucket List

These do not have to be done in any order,
 they just need to be done before i die (or by date/event specified)

• Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
• Drive-In movie 
• Record in a Recording Studio
• Float using 5,000 Helium Balloons
• Skinny dip in a public pool
• Watch every Harry Potter movie in a row in one day/sitting
• Have dinner in Sleeping Beauty's Castle
• Sing on stage for 1,000+ people
• Pay for the meal for the table next to you at a restaruant
• Kiss someone at midnight on New Years 2013
• Make my Parents proud
• Do something honorable for my Country
• Visit The Sacred Grove
• Read the Book of Mormon 
• Be in a magazine 
• Have someone ask "The usual?" when i step up to the counter
• Walk into a room and have all eyes on me
• Write a song all on my own
• Have a guy throw pebbles at my window and sing to me with his guitar
• Actually stick to a work out and see results
• Go to Europe
• Try wine from a real Vineyard in Italy
• Sky Dive
• Meet Emma Stone
• Say "I Do"
• Light a Tangled Lantern into the sky
• Celebrate Margi Gras in New Orleans
• Audition for The Voice, American Idol, The X-Factor, America's Got Talent
• Grow my hair to my belly button
• Go cow tipping 
• Go camping with all friends 
• Walk the red carpet
• Feel confident in a Bikini
• Play messy twister
• Own a necklace from the Open Heart Collection from Kay Jewelers
• Be a bridesmaid/maid of honor
• Send my Parents on special romantic trip (all paid for)
• Buy a white dress (wedding dress) and go paint balling
• Be given a puppy for a present
• Find the PERFECT little black dress
• Have Breakfast At Tiffany's
• See how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tooties pop
• Kiss under the mistletoe
• Kiss at the top of a Ferris Wheel
• 
  

When words Fail...

So as a mentioned in my "About Me" section,
I am a singer.
Being a singer i dream to live on a stage
That being dreamt, i want to be able to say i write my own songs.
That being said, i suck at that.
i always come up with somewhat decent lyrics,
its the musical part i struggle with.
I play piano, yes.
attempt to play guitar, sure.
know how to read music, well yeah.
Have some musical ability to hear what is good, yes. i do.
so what is my problem??
I keep asking myself that.

Well i figured it out i think.
I can't make a final decision or i don't finish with what i have
i always start out and think
"oh, this is going smashingly"
then 3 lines in
"oh man, i don't know what i'm doing."

So that is basically the run down
of how me writing songs is.
BUT
that is changing today!

I am in the mood to write a good song.
a song about when words fail.
but i need some ideas...

Please tell me about when you have had something

• so powerful to say, so profound but you couldn't quite find the words to say it.....
• you wanted to say so badly, but held it back.....
• when you felt, believed something so strongly....

that only a song could define it perfectly.
 ready... GO! 

Mornings...

For those of you who know me, you will know that i am not a morning person. 

 I hate waking up, and i hate morning people. 

I much prefer nights.  

 I will how ever agree to the fact that you do get more done when you rise early, but that does not mean i loathe it any less. 

Sunrises are beautiful with out a doubt, but i prefer west over east.  

Birds singing their songs in the morning is lovely, but i prefer dreams. 

One main thing i hate about mornings though is getting ready. 

 I don't know about you but when i wake up my eyes are puffy, 

my nose is runny, and my lips are sown shut! 

 Staying awake in the shower is also an enormous struggle for me. 

 I close my eyes while washing my hair, and that makes me fall over from lack of balance.

 I always manage to cut my legs while shaving, because while doing so my mind drifts off to no mans land and i come back to red and pain.  

Then there is the issue with the drain at our apartment... our drain hates us and while the shower head is on, it wont drain unless you hold down the drain stopper. 

 So me trying to be clever and also me just hating to stand in my dirty water (figuring this out at night while i was very much awake) i would hold it down with my foot while washing my hair.  

This has become a habit for me now while showering, but i go back to the statement where i close my eyes while washing my hair... I struggle as it is to balance, now add standing on one foot, washing my hair, holding down the drain with one foot, eyes closed and then water.  

Yes this is a huge struggle for me... 

After getting out of the shower it is time to do my hair I flip it over 

and i start to "scrunch" dry my hair. 

 after that is done, more like after i gave up, i move to my make up 

  Its summer time and i am trying the less is more effect.  

Although i do not wear this well. 

 I know i look much better with make up on, so i guess this goes without saying i'm just being lazy. but i go about putting as little make up as i can afford, 

and i look at myself and i think.... 

who the hell are you, and where am i? 

 Does that ever happen to you?? 

 You look in the mirror and the person staring back at you is not someone you recognize?

 That is me lately. 

Eyes are squinted (i don't know why), nose is red (sunburn), face is slightly tanner (don't know why this would be a bad thing), and still haven't opened my mouth. 

This is not normal. 

 Anyways, i move on, after trying several things to get the normal looking me to emerge,  to getting dressed. 

I have a work uniform so that is not a problem in the "what to wear today game" that i play daily,

 but its what to wear to the second job that always gets me in a funk.  

 There is no uniform at that one, and i work with only girls.  

You might think, oh well you don't need to worry about getting ready or looking good then, no one to impress there...  

Wrong! 

 These girls are all very beautiful! 

 They always look good and care too,

Even when they don't try, they still manage to pull it off. 

This drives me bonkers!!! 

 When i want the i don't care look, i still have to work for it.  

 I honestly feel like i need to get ready more than i would if there were guys there. 

 Its a messed up life i'm in i know.  

After finally deciding on something i head out the door to work.... 

And then my day finally begins....

 All this happens without me saying a single word....  

 i don't talk in the mornings, so don't try talking to me.  You'll just get a glare. 

This is how my mornings go... every. single. day.

Ready? Okay!

Welcome to the mind of Kinzie Saxey. I will warn you i wont sensor anything i put on this. This is one of the only places, besides my mind, where i can really just let it out, lay it out, and figure it out. I am very dramatic and theatrical, and that will certainly show in my postings. I don't share often how i feel deep down inside, but this is one place i feel that i can be free to express how i am really feeling... so lets begin shall we?